Two years and four months ago, I put my pen down and picked up my avatar and went off to game. Gone was my ability to be snarky and jab at the insanity that surrounds us daily. My heart was broken, I felt betrayed, and four deaths in a row, including my faithful cat Simon, took a lot out of me. Where better to bury yourself than online gaming?

I was also in a huff as I went to log into shoutpost one day and the site was simply gone. No warning, no email, just two years of writing *poof*

Fortunately I had backed up most of it on Myspace and was able to grab cached versions of it on Google. I debated dragging all my old blogs over here, but for now Myspace is holding steady, unless the evilness that Facebook is, figures out how to completely control the web. If anyone is placing bets..its a sure thing. I have a fear that I will wake up one day with a little blue F on my ass with Like underneath it, while my husband and cats point and laugh dramatically. We are Facebook, you have been assimilated…

But I digress, and I do that a lot. Point is, I buried myself in gaming. I pulled myself away before, knowing the addiction it is. For ten years I avoided the lure of slashing, shooting, or watching jewels drop and match at least three in a row. But I found a new “free” (how I laugh at that now) venue of browser games. When free to play means, no monthly fees to log in, and if anyone wants to know how China has risen economically, ask any gamer. Billions of dollars are spent globally to buy virtual money, to enhance virtual items online. Sure I have an avatar with a heroic g10 cloak, but that doesn’t stop me from getting beat..oh the silly things we do to entertain ourselves.

I would say that after two years and four months and did I mention $8000.00 later? I decided that enough was enough, and while some of you may be gasping at that amount, it really boils down to *gets calculator out to justify* $83.00 a week on entertainment. Or roughly speaking a movie, popcorn, pretzel bites and  two large sodas.

To  justify my spending further..it is where I met my husband.

Now before you get the geek gamer in mind,no,  we don’t dress up in our gear and hit the cos-play arena. As everything in life, our meeting started out simple enough, I was playing a war game and I noticed a particular guy irritating my alliance members by destroying their cities and annihilating their troops.I would whisper him to tell him to stop, which only spurred him on more.  I was more interested in what goes on behind the scenes, and I never take myself seriously in game. However I did deploy  my inherent Nancy Drew sleuthing skills (a.k.a intel and detective work) to stay alive and maybe one eye on world chat to see if he was around.

I was logged in at work (shhhh) and I saw him poking at someone or another, so I sent a public  message in world chat hoping to impress him with my knowledge, and promptly  blew it. If ever you are on Jeopardy, the correct answer if asked who is Sweeney Todd? the answer is: Who is the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, not  The Barber of Seville. I’m lucky Sweeney didn’t send  100k scout bombs (which was alot back then) and take my city for being a plunk, or another one of those fabulous expressions I’ve come to know so well.  However, we still argue over what a “fanny” is.  Fast forward to our own reality show  living on Skype, sleeping with my laptop beside me, accruing miles and living with a five hour time difference, we finally tied the knot. Now we are getting to know the Department of Homeland Security on a personal level.  Beside my mini the other British import in my life beside my Toddy.  He’s pretty much the same in real life as he is in game, except for the multiple times I watch my cat climb up his shoulder and wrap her little paws around his neck, and snuggle into his beard. Warriors are fearsome using catapults, not kittehs as scarves.

Online gaming persona’s are fascinating to say the least. I don’t care who you are, you can’t pretend to be something you aren’t online. Its too hard to keep it up if it isn’t a part of your personality, or personality disorder. Case in point, as much as I thought I keep my private self private, and only show people what I want them to see, a very small handful have the courage to delve deeper..then call me out on it. Not in a bad way, but while I was searching for a new name, a good friend in game  volunteered a name for me. It is from a Salvatore novel, and I never have figured out if it was a compliment or insult once I researched it. I still choose to take it as a positive.

Face it, we are who we want to be depending on any given situation in real life or online. Personally I would like some incidental music warning potential strangers or co-workers exactly what they are walking into when I stare at them in my path on any given Monday. I wish I could state that  life is easier in game, but after spending the last two years going through highs and lows with others in my league,  I’m now convinced the Chinese have built a huge skinner box, and someone is using it as the worlds biggest thesis on society as a whole. If they take copious notes and catch every nuance for their reader..they’ll get an A+.

For over two year (and counting) I am exposed to a whole new world of people with one thing in common. Kill or be killed, align and/or figure out who you can trust and who you can’t. Everyone shares log ins, the only way you can know who you are dealing with is if you get to know the person intimately and suss out if its them or not. I have to say, I never gave anyone my log in, though I hold multiple ones now. What started out as me finding a little online game, turned into becoming host of my own  alliance and having a lot of those gamers follow me into four, or is it five, different games on multiple servers. One things for certain..I’m a good leader, not that I had any doubts, but its always good to have positive reinforcement. I’ve heard of people actually listing ‘ hosting alliance’ on their resumes, and as geeky as it sounds..I understand. Say the wrong thing and you can upset your team member, and they can turn into a liability quickly and in the next moment you are under attack.

But that brings the old adage to mind, the pen is mightier than the sword. This blog is not and won’t be  about changing your mind, it is just  my views of the world. There’s another old saying, ” Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.”  Also to clarify my blog site, it is two fold. I write when I can’t sleep, normally between the hours of 4 and 6 a.m…and yep I’m nekkid and ye, I also am exposing myself online which at anytime is fodder for comments and other peoples opinions. I’ll moderate comments on this as I see fit because, Hey! It’s my blog.

I’m not sure I’ll get all my followers back that I had on Shoutpost, but if you’ve read this far, thank you. I write about whatever is on my mind, in the news, or odd things I find amusing. I hope you will too. But now..I have an itch trigger finger and some role-playing to get out of my system.

*drops virtual pen, stalks off to go kill more things*